Go To The Office Fika – Or Else?

John James had been self-employed for years, but the industry was changing and he needed something more reliable. He took a job. Several months into his contract, he liked the work; he enjoyed his colleagues; despite years living in Sweden with his Swedish wife, he hated fika. It interrupted him at his tasks and forced him into pointless small talk and for what? He was never going to be friends with these people. 

John’s experience – and reaction – are by no means unusual, yet some of the first and most consistent advice non-Swedes in the workplace receive is: Don’t skip the fika! (Attention readers with no exposure to this: ‘fika’ in this particular context is the Swedish workplace habit of colleagues collectively stopping what they do at a predetermined time to go for a coffee break together. More or less.)

The explanation usually only extends as far as something like, “This is where informal information exchanges happen.” or “It’s structured socializing. Swedes need that.” But if the impression you get is like John’s – that the information is all about weather and holidays and you don’t want to socialize at all, structured or otherwise – then those explanations do little to help you make it work for you. This article aims to do just that and if you are a Swede, read through or jump here to find out how you can help your foreign colleagues master this.

Disclaimer: I was unable to find any studies looking into exactly what I outline here, but the literature supports the foundation I build this description on. The actual mechanism I describe is based on my observations, so take these as what they are and test my suggestions for yourself.

Thesis: In Swedish culture, both group and conversation dynamics build up following the same pattern and it requires contribution, calibration and consistency.

This tactic is something young Swedes would begin absorbing already in the home, but it is also consciously encouraged beginning in preschool, continuing through university orientation weeks and appearing in associations and the workplace. 

Imagine you are the proud owner of a random pile of Lego bricks. You are placed in a random group of people. You may know or like some of them, others you may not. You have been jointly tasked with building a modest, aesthetically pleasing, functional Lego house. Before reading further, take a moment to consider how this project would proceed in your home culture.

In Sweden, it might very well get off to a slow start. A couple of brave souls will eventually ask a few questions or make tentative suggestions. Do not mistake them as having just nominated themselves as de facto leaders. They now await an equally delicate and carefully chosen contribution from each remaining individual. And we have our first tenets of group and conversation dynamics for Sweden.

• Alla får vara med – Everyone is included. The Swedish phrasing makes it sound like everyone who wants to be included can be. This is misleading. If you are part of a group, your participation and contribution are expected. This is both because everyone has something valuable to add and therefore has the right to contribute and because this is a group effort. Everyone has the responsibility to contribute. There will be no special invitations for you to do what is expected of a good group member. Of course you can remain silent if that ‘känns bra’ – feels good – for you, but it will be quietly noted as a data point. A strong cultural belief in equality undergirds this behavior.
• Lagom – calibrate. Remember the house requirements: modest, aesthetically pleasing and functional. If contributions range from non-existent to domineering, conservative to gaudy, minimalist to rococo… it’s not going to work. Each group member must sort through their own pieces, find ones similar enough to everyone else’s and offer those. If the majority of pieces are identical, you offer that. If the group’s pieces are a wild mix, then offer your oddest bits and bobs, however unlikely that scenario may be. The process seems to work the same regardless of whether we are building group cohesion or a conversation. Each person adds a little bit at a time, making micro adjustments along the way.

Now turn that silly, ice breaker party game into your job, where your group works daily building Lego houses. How do you feel about the people in your group now that you know you have to do this task with them every day? Maybe it doesn’t matter to you who they are, you each have a job and you trust them to do it. Remember, though, in Sweden being a member of a group comes with certain rights and responsibilities – obligations, even. It’s smart, then, to be careful about who we create those ties to. We find support for that in Swedish individualism, making choices that are good for ourselves… and we’ve bumped into our next tenet.

• Consistency – In some cultures, creating group cohesion may move quickly as everyone knows to follow the person with the highest rank or chooses to rally around the person with the most charisma. Due to the inclusive nature of Sweden’s method, it takes time. Swedes don’t necessarily want to be flashed by a charismatic member, won’t be impressed by anyone claiming status and often give someone making a negative impression another chance because hey, maybe they’re just having a bad day. It’s important to prove oneself over time in Swedish culture, correctly participating in the rhythm of contribute, calibrate, contribute, calibrate.

What does that mean for our fika?

1. It means if you want to be seen as part of the in-group with your Swedish colleagues, you don’t wait for an invitation. You behave as part of the group. So join the fika. Consider that by removing yourself from the group or even attending in silence, you may be sending an unconscious signal that you don’t see yourself as part of the group and neither should your colleagues. This can be tricky, because in many cultures, there is a different process to achieving group membership. Of course every company handles this in their way, so observe how it is at yours.
2. It means small talk isn’t small; it’s a group cohesion and conversational building block. If you’re not satisfied with the weather and summer hols as topics, don’t just hijack it to your own topic. Steer it there. I’ve seen conversations between near strangers go very quickly through progressions like the following
   A) I’m tired, I didn’t sleep well (yawn, superficial)
   B) Luckily hols are soon (keep yawning)
   C) Sharing holiday recommendations (requires a personal opinion, we’re getting somewhere)
   D) Comparing family ski stories (disclosure of family details and preferences)
   E) Things have changed since we were kids (bonding over commonalities)
   F) AI, is the world going under? (Difficult topic to talk about, reached naturally)
   G) The kids are alright (Landing somewhere hopeful together)
   Add and steer, add and steer. It will pay off with deeper relationships over time.
3. It means you can’t just do this once, make and good impression and disappear. No set it and forget it. Every instance of contact is a data point. While Swedish culture will very quickly believe that you CAN do your job – it’s a high-trust society – it takes longer to suss out if they WANT to work with you and trust you at a more personal, less institutional level. So keep going to fika. It offers many chances for others to see not only what you can do, but who you are.

And finally, dear Swedish colleagues, thank you for reading. Please understand, many of us are wholly unfamiliar with this process you participate in instinctively. We don’t realize when we skip fika, go with a bad attitude or are just ‘too much’ that we are bombing your greige Lego house with a kaleidoscopic Magnatile. Could you gently guide us? A quiet “What do you think about this topic?” Or “What experience do you have with that?” could get us going in the right direction if we’re shy, insecure or confused. And a quiet request for the next person’s contribution might help us recognize when it’s time to let someone else add their piece.