I share Lund, the beautiful, small, old city where I live and work, with nearly 140,000 residents. About 40,000 of them are students at the university. Most of those tend to leave town every summer, which makes it very quiet here. But come August, life roars back in with an influx of students again. Of course many of them come from Sweden, but many others are internationals and their experience here may depend very much on how they are met and received by the local community.
Here are seven tips for locals to engage with international students in a way that contributes to community wellbeing.
- Allow for Culture Shock
Culture shock isn’t just a handy term for being surprised by how other cultures do things. This is a real, studied phenomenon with a predictable progression and it goes deeper than surprise. In extreme cases, it really can feel like those sci-fi movies where the main character wakes up on a different planet, sensing danger, excitement, curiosity and panic all at once. Foreign students must be allowed time to process that. If they make a bad impression somehow, please don’t jump to a conclusion. Who knows? Maybe they feel completely overwhelmed and just want something familiar, and they’re exhausted because they have to spend 30 minutes in the grocery store looking for the right ingredient to cook their comfort food. Be gracious to them. - Offer Help and Information
As a Swede born and raised in this country, you will have a lot of knowledge about the systems here. You will know how to navigate health care, banking, housing, schools, clubs, the tax agency, the unemployment office and the supermarket. But foreigners don’t. Foreigners are good at the migration agency, because they have to be. It can’t be taken for granted that they have all the context they need to understand those other systems already. Swedes quite flatteringly never want to imply that someone can’t manage on their own, which leads to a unique behavior in which Swedes very rarely offer help for fear of insulting someone. But outsiders are not always self-sufficient and so tip number two is simply to offer help. Helping practically or by providing information about how things here work is such a friendly thing to do. As a side note, I’ve often gotten the response, “You can read all about it on the website.” While that’s often true, when you have just lost your job or have a sick child on your hands, reading a lot of words on a website can be overwhelming and confusing. - Offer Lodging
I realize that not everyone is in a position to offer an apartment or a room to a student, but if you have lodging available and are looking for a student tenant, consider the following: many Swedish students already understand how this system works and have a network to call on. A foreign student can be at a real disadvantage in this way and how should they settle in and focus on their studies while they worry about housing? I have heard concerns before about everything from language barriers to differing tolerances for specific, hm, shall we say aromas? Yes, there will be more potential for misaligned expectations when welcoming someone from another culture, but presumably anyone welcoming a lodger sets up clear rules and expectations before signing any rental contract. Clarity is kindness and what a great opportunity to both show a foreigner what typical Swedish life looks like and benefit yourself by finally mastering the Spanish “r”, learning how to incorporate lemongrass in your cooking or getting insider tips for the trip to India you’ve been planning. - Show Interest
Whether you have a foreign student in your home or not, you must have some in your community or you wouldn’t be reading this post. This tip could possibly be the most meaningful of them all. Whomever you have in your life, show a little bit of interest. Swedes are a notoriously quiet people, investing a lot of energy into deep, lifelong friendships and turning to those in their free time. Please understand that this tip is not asking a Swede to attempt recreating that kind of relationship with a new foreign student. Rather I encourage Swedes and long-timers alike (I’m talking to myself here) to simply show interest. Ask how someone is settling in. Ask if they’re doing alright navigating the various systems – see tip two. Ask if they have visited interesting places in the area and maybe even recommend your favorite. Ask if they have found an affordable paddle gym or a convenient running club or a church they feel welcome at. Studies have shown that humans handle stressful situations much better for the simple fact of not being alone. Perhaps just inviting someone to try their first cinnamon bun is enough for them to feel they are not completely alone and handle a stressful situation more successfully. - Share Your Network
Now I know that opening up your network to a person is a big step. Networks in Sweden run on personal trust and vouching for a newcomer is a big deal. I would never ask you to take this step before you’re ready. Let’s assume you’ve taken my tips #2 and #4 to heart and had a few conversations with a foreign student. Maybe you’re getting to know them a little bit. Consider that they are in the same situation concerning a professional network as they are with housing; they have no history or education in this specifically Swedish system. They are starting with nothing, at least nothing local. So consider including them in your next network mingle, introducing them to someone for mutual benefit or giving them tips about which networks would be most advantageous for them to be a part of. And remember one other thing: they come with networks from their past lives which you could benefit from. Generosity works both ways! - Police Your Language
My provocative heading is not an exhortation to pay attention to pronouns or give trigger warnings. What I mean here is very simple. Many times, foreigners try to learn Swedish and as soon as they open their mouths and a Swedish person hears a foreign accent, the Swede switches to English. I understand. You’re being nice. You want to help the foreigner get what they need. It takes too long in broken Swedish. You need to keep the line moving at Espresso House. Unfortunately, it does not help newcomers to learn Swedish. So please, if a person addresses you in Swedish, answer in Swedish. It will become clear to both of you if it fails and you need to switch to another language or not. And by struggling patiently through pidgin Swedish complete with mispronunciations and non-use of “sin/sitt”, you will have contributed greatly to integration in Sweden. - Patience is a Virtue
Dear Swedes, foreigners will get it wrong. It’s impossible to know all the ins and outs of your society and all the unspoken rules. Humans cannot automatically do things differently, even once we’ve been told. People need time to learn and adapt and foreigners will never be Swedish, but they will do their best and they want to contribute to a thriving society for as long as they are here. Please be patient with them.
Dear Newcomers, Swedes will continue to be Swedish, as they should. This is Sweden and while you can expect to be treated well, you may not expect them to stop being Swedish. Their country is perfectly designed for them. Allow them to be themselves, ask for help (they’re so willing to give it!) and please be patient with them.
Have you ever been on either side of this equation? What helped you succeed and feel most welcome as a foreign student? Or what have you learned from a foreign student you had contact with?
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